Posted by Nick
“Matt, where, are, yoooooooou!” Manager Andrew desperate cry could be heard over the Yorkshire moors as Superbreak FC coughed and spluttered in front of goal. With his head hung low as another push for promotion was slapped back in his face, he spoke honestly and frankly. “We were let down tonight! Superman, the man of steel, he has many strengths and only one real weakness…kryptonite. You could ask him if he would mind helping you out one night of the week with some heavy lifting and Superman would be like, yeah of course man, just so long as I don’t run in to any kryptonite, it makes me all tingly and week, and then I’ll be of no use at all. Now Mr Lee, if he was a superhero his only weakness would have to be RELIABILITY! Reliability dam it! We struggled tonight! Dam his reliab…………Suddenly Manager Andrew felt an injection in his right arm and his eyes glazed over. The official statement read;
“Manager Andrew has been suffering from acute match stress which has been brought about through the teams dwindling league form and table positioning. We expect him to make a full and calm recovery”
Fan favourite Chris C longed for form of old in front of goal on this cold, crisp Monday evening. Seamous and Khalid ran the midfield with Danny and Manager Andrew in defence. Captain Mike filled the goal in the absence of keeper Nick. Nick was ordered to be baptised by Seamous and to change his name under Manager Andrew’s authority, in a hope to forget “the bad times” a rebirth. The seasons under “Matthew” have seen clean sheets, money laundering and an atrocious own goal while playing out on pitch, which started Superbreak FC’s downward spiral. You could say it’s all Nick’s fault!
Kick-off, 30 seconds of play, a high ball lofted down the pitch and a glancing header to Captain Mike saw E.T.F.C’s take the lead within the minute. Manager Andrew did everything he could in trying to header the high ball back to his keeper but as he flicked the ball back the sand slowed the ball and keeper Mike could only stand there in agony as the striker ran on and slipped the ball past him, 1-0!
Midway through the first half Manager Andrew played the ball up to fan favourite Chris who soothed the ball with his instep as Seamous ran ahead. Fan favourite Chris’s reverse pass landed perfectly in Seamous path as he ran on to the ball and slotted it into the bottom left corner of the goal, 1-1!
The second half saw Superbreak FC on the defensive and Captain Mike on the ball. First class reaction saves kept the score low for Superbreak FC. His finest moment saw a snap shot into the top right corner palmed out as he dove through the air and tipped the ball around the post.
E.T.F.C’s defender mopped up Captain Mike’s long throws as Superbreak FC tried to beat E.T.F.C for pace at the back.
Superbreak FC were without any substitutes and struggled for fitness as the minutes passed by. Fans favourite Chris had a chance late on but failed to control the pass and any further attack broke down. Danny linked up play with Khalid but they both struggled to keep up with the play. Manager Andrew defended with bravery and honour as he took blame and responsibility for the first goal and his defensive efforts showed his full class.
The clock ticked down. Ten seconds remaining. Mike though the ball from goal and E.T.F.C’c defender missed the header. Seamous gambled and ran beyond him. The ball bounced. Five seconds remaining. Seamous watched the ball come down and struck it on the half volley. A clean connection to the right of the goal saw the shot inches wide of the left post. With his head in his hands he heard the final whistle blow and the points shared.
Could you blame Manager Andrew for his “header” back to the keeper and Seamous for his last second miss? The answer is of course yes, without those two incidences Superbreak FC would have been victorious, but with Superbreak FC’s tight team spirit the lads stood close at the death…and blamed Nick’s mother for having him.
Love to Khalid.